While PC Skyrimmers have had access to Bethesda’s latest patch for the game for at least a few weeks, console gamers have had to wait—UNTIL NOW. According to the company’s VP, Pete Hines, Skyrim 1.5 is available for Xbox gamers right now, while the PS3 version will be available sometime this afternoon, he said on Twitter this morning.

What’s in the update? I’m glad you asked—because we totally told you a couple weeks ago. How soon we forget, eh?

Never mind the fat that I’ve been recycling the same dumb “Skyrim patch” image for months. IT’S A GOOD IMAGE. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna think up something better.

Still playing Skyrim? If so, there’s a new patch beta available over on Steam, according to the Bethesda Blog. Those who’ve opted in to the beta can grab it right now. Console Skyrimmers will have to wait a little longer, as the patch will have to go through its beta and also be approved by Microsoft and Sony, blah blah blah. Here’s what’s new in the patch:

UPDATE 1.5 (all platforms unless noted)

NEW FEATURES

• New cinematic kill cameras for projectile weapons and spells
• New kill moves and animations for melee weapons
• Shadows on grass available (PC)
• Smithing skill increases now factor in the created item’s value
• Improved visual transition when going underwater
• Improved distance LOD transition for snowy landscapes

BUG FIXES

• General crash fixes and memory optimizations
• Fixed issue with Deflect Arrows perk not calculating properly
• In “A Cornered Rat,” the death of certain NPCs no longer blocks progression
• Fixed issue where Farkas would not give Companion’s quests properly
• Fixed crash when loading saves that rely on data that is no longer being loaded
• Followers sneak properly when player is sneaking
• Fixed issue with weapon racks not working properly in Proudspire Manor
• Arrows and other projectiles that were stuck in objects in the world now clean up properly
• Fixed issue where “Rescue Mission” was preventing “Taking Care of Business” from starting properly
• Fixed issue where certain NPCs would fail to become Thieves Guild fences
• Fixed issue in “Diplomatic Immunity” where killing all the guards in the Thalmor Embassy before starting the quest would break progress
• In “Hard Answers,” picking up the dwarven museum key after completing the quest, no longer restarts the quest
• Killing Viola before or after “Blood on the Ice” no longer blocks progression
• Fixed issue where Calixto would fail to die properly in “Blood on the Ice”
• In “Waking Nightmare” fixed occasional issue where Erandur would stop pathing properly
• Fixed issue where letters and notes with random encounters would appear blank
• Fixed rare issue where dialogue and shouts would improperly play
• Lydia will now offer marriage option after player purchases Breezehome in Whiterun
• Fixed issue where if player manually mined ore in Cidhna Mine, jail time would not be served
• Fixed rare issue with skills not increasing properly
• Fixed issue where the Headsman’s Axe did not gain proper buff from Barbarian perk
• In “A Night to Remember” it is no longer possible to kill Ysolda, Ennis or Senna before starting the quest
• Fixed issue with the ebony dagger having a weapon speed that was too slow
• Fixed issue with “The Wolf Queen Awakened” where backing out of a conversation with Styrr too soon would block progress
• The third level of the Limbsplitter perk now properly improves all battle axes
• Fixed a rare issue where Sanguine Rose would not work properly
• In “Tending the Flames” King Olaf’s Verse will no longer disappear from explosions