Waste Your Entire Life with Cookie Clicker

cookie clicker

So, earlier today, our beloved Inside Gaming Daily Twitter posted this:

Curious, I started to click the cookie. And clicking it. Then I bought an auto-clicker! Then I bought another. Then I kept buying upgrades.

An hour later, and my game is clicking 46,253.3 cookies per second, with a bonus 21.9 cookies every time I click manually. I have 51 cookie clicking cursors, 43 cookie-baking grandmas, 17 cookie mines, and five portals to the cookieverse, just to name a few of the upgrades I’ve been able to buy. In short…I have a fuckton of cookies.

This free flash javascript game, Cookie Clicker, is ridiculously addictive, basically managing to latch onto the parts of your brain that release pleasure chemicals with the right stimuli. The game is hardly a game at all: the more cookies you make, the more you can buy with them, which then helps increase cookie production, which can then be used to buy more upgrades. It’s a simple stimulus-response situation, akin to what it was like when I played Marvel Ultimate Alliance on Xbox 360 so many years ago. The game wasn’t about anything. I pushed the attack button, and Thor beat up a Skrull. Then he moved onto the next one. On and on.

What I like about Cookie Clicker is that it lays bare how arbitrary our definitions of “game” are. I’m not doing anything fundamentally different than I do in any other game. I push the button, and a thing happens. I’m upgrading stats and thinking “strategically” about how to do “better.” There’s even a story! A news ticker at the top of the screen scrolls through updates. “Your cookies have achieved sentience,” it says. “Cookie farms suspected of employing undeclared elderly workforce.”

The news has no bearing on your game, but that could also be said about nearly every other game. The story is going to unfold a certain way. Even if your actions in-game change the story, you’ll probably still be pushing buttons to make things happen on the screen, just maybe slightly faster.

Moreover, this game is difficult to stop playing, because it requires so little of your brainpower.

So what I’m saying is that I love Cookie Clicker. And I also hate it, because I started playing it over an hour ago…and I’m probably not going to stop until I buy at least two time machines.

[Cookie Clicker]

  1. I’m making 43,438,847.6 CpS. Kill me.

  2. Sorry to break it to you, but the Cookie Clicker is coded entirely in javascript, not flash.

  3. It’s not a flash game, just JavaScript and HTML; please don’t credit Adobe.

  4. 2 time machines…lol. I have 43.

    • 122 time machines, 95 quadrillion cookies, every upgrade, every non-shadow achievement, and 6,333,164,172.3 cookies per second. checkmate.

      • dude, over a trillion everything, no autoclicker, and all achievmennts, except hacking in cookies. means I didn’t cheat. checkmate

  5. I am at 95mil cps and 9k cookies per click…that is in two days. I download an auto clicker from cnet and it clicks 9999 times times per second (or as fast your computer can handle) and have 862 buildings. lately i dont even use the clicker. my cps is so high it doesnt make much of a difference.

  6. This would be a good game to do a science project on. Just for the amount of stimuli released when some one clicks the — what the hell is wrong with me — cookie.

  7. I’m at 1,395,603,440.7 CPS and have exactly 200 of everything and i don’t know what to do now. I have purchased all upgrades i think… how do you finish this game???

  8. Helllppp meee…. I’m addicted….

  9. I heard about this game from other anons, and the next day, I played it. This was before the 1.0 Update came out. Then, after the update, I was surprised from all these upgrades in less than a month! And now, there’s 93 plus 6 inaccessible ones! And heavenly chips? The only real reason to reset. But I can’t cast M!As outside of Tumblr. I wish I could M!A: A new update comes out every single day. But that’s outside of Tumblr!

  10. At billions of cookies, 10000 heavenly chips, all achievements including shadow. Check.

  11. TO FUCKING ADDICTING. I CAN’T STOP PLAYING. HELP!!!!! Only one thing though. I played the other cookie clicker. Lol. FML

  12. 500 Million CPS

  13. Cookie Clicker Addict

    So in 2 days I got 2 billion cps..#nolife

  14. it says i am making infinite cps and have infinite cookies

  15. In 2 days 63billion CpS, almost all achievements (except the resets ones) and with my 230 cursors one cursor cost me 1,369,602,500,991,403 cookies -_-

  16. Plz. Im have 100 trillion cookies and have 13 antimatter condensers. ONly been playing for 2 days!

  17. I’ve been playing for 10 minutes now, and I’m addicted. I have 19 cursors, 5 grandmas, 2 farms and one factory and over 10 000 cookies.

  18. 1 day later, 300 billion cookies, 31 million cookies per second, 1,373,759.3 cookies per click, 103 cursors, 91 grandmas, 77 farms, 66 factories, 58 mines, 49 shipments, 37 alchemy labs, 29 portals, 16 time machines and 5 antimatter condensers.
    I really need to stop.

  19. Help me please! I am on my second day and am earning 2.35 sextillion cookies per second… I need a life bad-_-

  20. I still play it. I’m getting 50,000,000,000,000 cps right now. :/. My next upgrade costs 837,900,000,000,000,000,000 cookies. Halp meh.

  21. I have been playing this game a little over two hours, and have 88k CpS. I also have 55 cursers, grannies, farms, factories and mines. I have 17 shipments, 8 alchemy labs and 10 portals FML

  22. In 30 minutes, I had 700 quintillion cookies, 500 trillion cookies per second, and every achievement and upgrade with 44, 000 heavenly chips.

    …I need a life.

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