Last August, the website promoting the Scientology-like religion in the GTA universe—the Epsilon Program—got an update that hinted at some forthcoming Grand Theft Auto V goodness. Today, Rockstar’s own main site got an Epsilon-themed update, offering up a looping video that extols the benefits of joining the program and exploring your body for birthmarks (to see if you’re a descendent of an alien, obviously).
Below are a few gems I pulled from the trailer as it played, since I’m pretty sure I can’t embed it in this post. In the meantime, stay tuned for more updates from Rockstar as the Grand Theft Auto V release date approaches.
Personally, I can’t wait to join the Epsilon Program. Apparently I will get to lay with many women.