PETA Creates Extremely Violent Pokemon Game, Mad about Something As Always

PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, have showcased their ability to be a bunch of over-the-top, video game-despising folks in the past. They weren’t content with picking on Tanooki Suit Mario for apparently de-skinning a raccoon, or getting upset at players stabbing a rat in Battlefield 3, or tearing down Cooking Mama for using meat in an in-game recipe, or even messing with poor Super Meat Boy – no, they had to go and attack Pokémon.

Combine all the things we hate about Michael Vick and the things we love about Pokémon, and the product is what PETA has created here: an actual game that’s simply an extremely violent parody of Pokémon, but more so focused on their unethical treatment by drunkard, baseball bat-wielding Pokémon Trainers the world over.

Yes, because both Pokémon and drunken, abusive Pokémon Trainers are real things that exist, real things that are causing real issues. Again, we have dog fighters, cock fighters, and drinkers all around – and horrible combinations of them even, but it’s quite a stretch to compare it to…well, Pokémon battles – battles that take place in a completely fictional fantasy world where seemingly no one ever dies… ever.

I mean seriously, the amount of “blasting off again” that Team Rocket does, one would think they’d be short a limb or two by now. At the very least, Meowth would have lost a leg or something. Though, with the exception of Pokemon: The First Movie, he really was kind of a dick, notably.

Anyway, the game’s called Pokémon: Gotta Free Em’ All! Get it? Because they’re trapped by their owners who mercilessly beat them and place choke collars around their necks! I remember doing that for hours to my Charmander in Pokemon Red & Blue. Best of times.

I called this whole bit quits after a good five minutes, particularly when Nurse Joy hobbled down the road amidst a sea of heart-shaped bear traps and bleeding oak trees only to present a video to Pikachu and friends that showcases real-world beaten animals in shelters and cages. You know, the videos where they play sad music with dogs and cats crying.

I’m not condemning those videos, quite the opposite, what I’m finding laughable is the comparison to Pokemon. But instead of listening to me dribble on about it, just play the game yourself, why don’t you?